Not going to the toilet

Hi
My son who is seven and a half will not do number twos in the toilet. He has been on and off with this his whole life but this recent weekend has tipped the scales. He would rather kid on he has a clean bum and carry on with his day rather than admit he has had an accident. I have asked him why he doesn't got to the toilet but he just replies I don't know. He has had twelve dirty pants this weekend alone and every time he claims he doesn't no if he has or not but it is clear in his actions that he does. I don't know what else to do nothing work talking to him, shouting, rewards, punishment, doctors all have not worked. Please any advice would be grateful a child of his age should not have these problems please help.

I know this is probably not even in the same league as your problem, but i've had poop issues with both of my 4.5yr old twins.

Riley had massive constipation issues and we had to do a clear out and then a strict regime where she had to go every morning to get a regular habit formed. I used to let her sit and watch her favourite shows on a tablet, or play games. She would have to stay there for 10 minutes for her 'private poop time'. I'd make sure she was sitting with her knees high up and bottom low down to encourage the poop out!

Lockie had similar issues as your son, he would outright refuse to go. I sat him down one day and said it was his choice to go or not, but if he went on his own without me saying anything he would get 3 poop lollies. If I had to tell him to go 2 poop lollies, and if there is any poop in his undies then only 1. Not sure what happened but it totally changed his attitude and he's now happy to go. He has issues with the smell and also having to push out a poo that is probably going to smell. SO we play a game where he has to choose a balloon and (pretend) to blow it up. the puffing helps the poo out.

I've got all my poo tools from this book

it's No Accident: Breakthrough Solutions to Your Child's Wetting, Constipation, UTIs, and Other Potty Problems

by Hodges, Steve J., Suzanne Schlosberg

It literally saved my sanity. And I actually mean that, I was SO angry with Riley thinking she was holding on on purpose and when I read the book it was like it had be written about her. i would strongly recommend you read it

Some excellent advice from Amanda!
Some children with chronic constipation do lose sensation so aren't aware they need to/ are going until they have soiled themselves.


I hope you can find a way forward.

@lazylexis might have some good thoughts. Not seen her around much on here recently but maybe shes a-lurking?!

Hi. Sounds like he is holding on to his stools which is pretty common and happens for lots of reasons. My 4.5 year old has been a nightmare with poos since 18 months and only recently has he started using the toilet.things we have found helpful are
Not getting angry/ telling off but just cleaning up and putting clean pants on saying matter of factly that poos should be in the toilet without telling off
Rewards for poos in the loo but initially just for sitting on there for 10 mins at a time after eating with stickers or a computer game and gradually built up to rewarding poos with sticker chart or sweets etc

Keeping poos very soft with lots of movicol - if kids hold on they tend to get constipated and sometimes impacted and then get liquid overflow which soils their pants.
It has been a long slow process!
There is a good book on withholding & constipation
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1843104911

At 7 then sneaky poo may help too
eRIC has some good info as well
http://www.eric.org.uk/Constipation/inf ... n_children
http://www.healthy-minds.info/media/871 ... ky_poo.pdf